maliciousmelons:

my anaconda dont want none unless you got funds hun

tagged → #gimme

ezriela:

modestxwolves:

"the ice bucket challenge is stupid and it’s not really raising any money or awareness"

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Update:

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herriestiles:

shelterfromcold:

two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says “man, i can’t believe i blew thirty bucks in there”.

this literally took me forever to get

"I think I’m called… Rose Tyler. No. Yes, no. Sorry, no no. In this form, I’m called… Bad Wolf. Are you afraid of the big bad wolf, Doctor?"

Anonymous asked: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

sephyerite:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.

frighteningfox:

jontronshat:

cunicular:

Your first time is NOT supposed to hurt

You are NOT supposed to bleed

If you bleed, that is NOT your hymen being ‘popped’, it is a tear due to lack of sexual arousal and natural lubrication.

This is all a MYTH perpetrated by men so they don’t have to make sure you are comfortable and sufficiently aroused enough before you have sex with them. It is an excuse to disregard and hurt you.

I just really want women to know this.

wait…. really?

yes really

hannahcarbons:

Dear god, what a hell of a game.

hannahcarbons:

Dear god, what a hell of a game.

X-men throughout the Media: Storm
  • Storm in cartoons: I AM STORM, MISTRESS OF THE ELEMENTS. YOU ARE NOTHING!
  • Storm in movies: Hi, I am supporting cast for Wolverine. I am also Halle Berry for reasons.
  • Storm in comics: African goddess. Headmistress. Wakandan Queen. Pansexual icon. I AM STORM, MISTRESS OF THE ELEMENTS. YOU ARE NOTHING!
One of the many things Bill Nye taught me

viridianeyes:

poeticallyhighdreams:

boobiemun:

The difference between milk snakes and coral snakes is a crucial key to not dying. Coral snakes are extremely dangerous, and despite the low bite ratio, they can and will bite you if you’re not careful. Milk snakes are totally okay and chill. So remember, everyone.

If red touches yellow, you’re a dead fellow

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But if red touches black, you’re okay jack

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I read this as milk shakes and was very confused

socialjusticekoolaid:

That CNN Anchor who said police should turn “water cannons” on the protesters… yeah, her ass is gone! #staywoke #cackling

  • Michael: and Ryan is Dry Bones
  • Ryan: I'm skeleton turtle
  • Michael: no, you're Dry Bones
  • Ryan: no, I'm skeleton turtle
  • Michael: alright, Ryan's skeleton turtle
  • Ryan: I'm calling him Fred
  • Ryan: Fred the skeleton turtle